A few weeks ago Brian and I were eating lunch at our favorite haunt. An elderly gentleman came up to the register, and instead of simply asking if he could have his soup warmed up more in the microwave he gave my favorite cashier a really hard time. I don’t like bullies, and I don’t care how old they are.

She was shaken up and I felt badly for her so I leaned over and whispered: “Next time maybe you should say — It’s gazpacho dumbass!”. We laughed and that was that.

Today a man at the next table over asked me if I thought the soup was cold. I was sitting at my usual table by the register and my favorite cashier was right there and overheard the question. I felt my eyes go wide. For starters the soup was perfect. And then…well, I just told you. So, I looked him squarely in the eyes and said: NO. The cashier stepped away from the register, probably to go laugh. Once she left I told him about the old guy. I told him the standard answer is now: It’s not cold, it’s gazpacho dumbass. And, I said if he was very nice he could go get it nuked where they make sandwiches in the back. He did laugh. But mostly, I think he was afraid. Good. Don’t whine, just eat your lunch, be grateful you got food and get on with your day.